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Friday, August 7, 2015

How to Recover From A Broken Heart: Business School Rejection Letters

How to Recover From a Broken Heart
Business School Rejection Letters




This is the moment I had been waiting for. I would finally have access to the decisions from the various business schools who had captured my heart. It was my destiny to attend a highly selective school that attracted the best and the brightest. I couldn’t wait to tell Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter that my dreams had come true and I was going to marry the school of my dreams. Who doesn't love a romantic love story?  I do! It gives hope and provides inspiration to others who aspire to be swept off of their feet by their dreams.  I could smell, taste, and feel the happiness associated with opening multiple acceptance letters to my top choice schools. I committed my heart to the process and went above and beyond to ensure that I was perfect for the school of my choice.  It was evident that I wanted them and now I would find out if they wanted me too. I knew that these three actions would guarantee my success: 

1) Extravagant Essays. Extravagant as in I put my heart and soul into these essays. These are not essays I wrote hours before the application deadline. It took me over 4 months to write, review, and refine my essays. Beauty takes time, right? My MLT and Forte coaches did an excellent job of helping me to turn my professional, emotionally detached essays into a master piece that any prince charming would be willing to read. They made me dig deeper with every word I wrote. The best of me was highlighted on paper and I felt like a million bucks when I hit the application submit button.  
2) GMAT Jealousy. I had to learn the hard way. The GMAT is a jealous exam. It doesn't like you to put other events and commitments before it. So I had to sacrifice time with the love of my life in order to study for the GMAT. My beautiful love, Toastmasters, was kicked to the curb for the GMAT. Now anyone who knows me should know that I am a Toast-a-holic! I breathe, dream, and eat the Toastmasters educational program. It was a tough decision but I knew it was only temporary.  
3) Beyond Blind Dates. I don't believe in blind dates when you are making a $100K investment. I like to know what I'm getting into. We all know that people can sound one way on paper but you get the real deal when you meet them in person.  So I visited EVERY top school on my list. I just knew a business school visit would seal the deal. My business school romance would meet me in person and instantly fall in love. Plus he would be flattered by all the attention I gave him and how much I already knew about him. Oh yes - a business school date would be like falling in love at first site. 

Business school success was written all over my diary. Not only did I visualize myself getting into my top choice business school, but I could also hear the voice of an admission officer telling me that I would receive a scholarship and prestigious leadership fellowship. I would then take a break from corporate America and live a 2- year happy life with my MBA dreams. I had it all figured out. 

Until…

I opened my business school letters and saw the word “WAITLIST”. Waitlist? Waitlist. Waitlist! Then the letters became mind boggling. "We are sorry to inform you". This could not be happening. My heart collapsed. My heart was melting. My heart was broken.

My utopian image of what life could be like was rudely interrupted by business school rejection letters. What do I do now? 

If you are human and have ever allowed yourself to fall in love, you may have encountered the feelings associated with finding out that someone doesn’t love you as much as you love them.  YIKES! How do you overcome that? It feels like your entire world has shattered and you can’t think about anything else. You just can’t stop the tears.  Cry no more! It’s time to dry those tears and prepare for the best years ahead! Here are some words of wisdom for recovering from a broken heart.

·      If at first you don’t succeed try again.  How important is it to you? Are you going to give up on the first try or do you think you have a good chance of hitting a home run on your next try? Is it worth a second effort?  The opportunity may have been perfect but it may not have been the perfect TIME for you. Timing is everything. Maybe there is another level of growth that you need to experience before you settle down. If you truly feel deep down inside that you have met your soul mate and this connection was meant to be, don’t give up on your love. Try again!

·      Don’t get bitter, get better! It’s normal to feel sour after experiencing rejection.  Instead of thinking you were being rejected, realize that you are being redirected towards something better. Or maybe you just need to get better. I refuse to say how many times I felt rejected by the GMAT. My GMAT score denied me the chance of marrying the school of my dreams. In fact, my dream school didn’t even look my way. I was devastated. After spending a few hours of seeking comfort from oreos and chocolate brownies, I decided that I would use this perceived setback as an opportunity to step my game up and make a remarkable come back. So I strengthened other parts of my application and changed my GMAT study approach.  Sometimes you just have to change your mentality in order to transform your reality.

·      In order to get what you never had, you have to be wiling to do what you have never done. You may have heard this saying before, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." Evaluate what you have done so far. What has worked in your favor? What can be done differently in order to make a quantum leap in your results? Take a step back and evaluate your progress so that you can fine tune your strategy. Commit to trying something new! It’s time to get what you want!

·      The greater the risk, the greater the rewards.  You may not see it now. You may not even want to think about it. But there is a reason that the risk is so immense. The rewards are colossal! Yes – the magnitude of your risk is preparing you for a million dollar reward. So don’t beat yourself up. You were willing to play the game. Most people never allow themselves to fall deep in love and put their heart into something where there is a risk of failure. Give yourself some credit! You are in pain because you are stepping outside of your comfort zone and doing something that most people wouldn’t dare do. You may feel rejection but you should never feel regret. At least you were not like the majority of the population who allowed the doubt in their mind keep them from the best years ahead. 

·      Turn your test into a testimony.   The best way to get over your own pain is to help others heal from the pain that you just encountered. Encourage others through your courageous efforts! The struggle did not come to defeat you! Your character is being defined and strengthened. A person with a winner's mentality will never fail any test. 

·      Don’t focus on the problems. Focus on the possibilities.  You received your test scores and realized that you bombed the exam. Now is not the time to beat yourself up. The test is over and done. There is nothing you can do to change what happened 5 minutes or 5 hours ago but you do have absolute control over what you do now and how you use this experience to propel your future. How can you use this problem to create more possibilities? Business school is all about solving problems. If you can strategically solve your problems and determine your competitive advantage in any situation, you will nail the business school curriculum and life! 

·      Your network is your networth. Avoid lengthy interactions with people who make you feel like a complete failure. Surround yourself with people who are going to make you feel like a million bucks when you feel like a penny. You need people in your corner who are going to cheer you on to the next level of greatness. They may give you tough love but it's important to have people who support your constant growth and development. 

·      Diminish hurt with humor.  There is nothing funny about pain but you can reduce the intensity of every situation with humor. When you look back, you should be able to laugh at your experiences. The GMAT broke my heart. I mean that exam ripped me a part and forced me to prove my love. I’m still trying to fight for the top spot! But I'm determined to show the GMAT who the boss really is. I am taking control and will wear the pants in this relationship. Stay tuned! 

Nobody ever wants to suffer from a broken heart. It hurts. But you must think about the person you have grown to become through the process. You are not the same person. Good or bad, you learned something new from the experience and can use this to create an even brighter future. Never let the fear of rejection keep you from applying to the school of your dreams. If you learn how to turn your heart break into a heart throbbing motivational story for others, there is nothing that will keep you from marrying your dreams! 

Keep Creating Endless Opportunities, 

Ms. Corporate America 

P.S. Don't be alarmed by this post. I was accepted to some exceptional schools (Ivy League) that I look forward to exploring further. Without the support from my MLT family, I know that the victories I experienced through this process would not have been possible. I am forever grateful to my MLT Coach, Wendy Dukes, for constantly pushing me and bringing out the best in me. For more information about MLT, visit www.ml4t.org. 


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